Ask General Kang Blogs & Blog Posts
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Latest Blog Posts on ask general kang
- Ask General Kang: I just read a novel about a guy being turned into a monkey — is that possible? by The Skwib on Nov 16, 2009
I hate to carp on this point, but was he turned into a monkey or was he turned into an ape of some kind? I seriously doubt it’s possible to turn a man into a monkey, unless you’re talking about what happens every time you invest in unsec...
- Ask General Kang: Do you enjoy daylight savings time? by The Skwib on Nov 5, 2009
Yes, of course. There’s nothing I enjoy more than having to reset my body’s circadian rhythms because of your human delusion that you control things. Most of you can barely operate your own crude technologies properly (put up your hands...
- Ask General Kang: Why don’t you ever mention robots? by The Skwib on Oct 20, 2009
Oh, you silly humans and your fascination with robots! And I don’t mean the kind of useful robots that actually exist, like the ones in factories. I assume that by “robot”, you’re interested in the sentient “danger Wil...
- Ask General Kang: How much time should I be spending on Social Media every day? by The Skwib on Oct 15, 2009
None. Next question. No, seriously, what is the right amount? It depends. Do you have other things to do? Like, I don’t know, a job? Let’s assume yes, and let’s assume it’s about eight hours a day. Okay, so that leaves y...
- Ask General Kang: Should I be afraid of the semicolon? by The Skwib on May 26, 2009
Do you mean the form of punctuation, or what happens to your lower intestines after you’ve eaten improperly prepared Thringian Gitworm sashimi? Because if you’ve eaten bad ThriGit sashimi, and its still-living spawn are now lunching on yo...
- Ask General Kang: Apparently, only one in four people read a book last year — how can we improve that figure? by The Skwib on May 14, 2009
I’d start by disabling the publishing industry in some way — perhaps an elite cadre of pulp-loving squirrels armed with plasma-shredders and capable of firing book worms out of their mouths? Or perhaps you could change the tax laws so th...
- Ask General Kang: If we have love in a time of cholera, what if do we do we have in a time of swine flu? by The Skwib on May 4, 2009
Interesting question, but I’m not convinced that swine flu is the next killer pandemic, mostly because of Kang’s Corollary. Kang’s Corollary? You know Murphy’s Law, right: “Anything that can go wrong, will.” Kang&...
