Royal Dispatches Blogs & Blog Posts
Blogs on royal dispatches
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Latest Blog Posts on royal dispatches
- Advice From Cranky To Sappy Couples by Canuckastan Press on Jun 21, 2009
I’m not bitter. I’m happy for all those happy couples out there, good on ya, way to go, glad you found your soul mate. My understanding, however, seems to be that when you’re blinded by love, by some process of multiplication, you s...
- Canuckastan Imposters by Canuckastan Press on Jun 16, 2009
As a citizen of Canuckastan, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canuck, make the following statement – and then carefully note their r...
- Screw You Chores! by Canuckastan Press on Jun 15, 2009
To hell with it, cleaning the fridge. How the hell do you get so dirty? I don’t eat in there, I simply store food. What the hell is that stain on the bottom shelf? Do gnomes have parties in here when I’m at work or something? Nasty little...
- Things I Have Learned Today by Canuckastan Press on Jun 14, 2009
When you have to use the bathroom, do not let the dogs precede you into the room. Bathrooms are very small rooms and only have one door. When the dogs knock you down while they attempt to exit the bathroom, do not fall on the toilet. Toilets can expl...
- I Need A Cat by Canuckastan Press on Jun 13, 2009
The Canuckastan Embassy has been over run with rats. Really big rats. Smart too. I’ve set a few live traps, but they keep escaping while making off with whatever goody that I’ve used to lure them. I hate to kill them, they’re almo...
- Popsicle Conspiracy Theory by Canuckastan Press on Jun 13, 2009
I would like to know why you can’t buy one box of grape popsicles (regular OR sugar free), or one box of cherry popsicles or why there has to be 4 orange popsicles in each box but only 3 grape (there are 5 cherry). If you HATE orange popsicles,...
- On Being A Man by Canuckastan Press on Jun 12, 2009
Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t runnin...
